The Mystery of JellO Blue
by Dandelion Lint
Summary: Blue Jell-O: we've established that it's blue. But what FLAVOR blue...?
1. JellO Blue

**Title:** The Mystery of Jell-O Blue

**Author:** Dandelion Lint

**Archive:** Let me know where. :)

**Feedback:** Very much appreciated!

**Season:** Probably anywhere in seasons 1-3. Actually, it could even be anytime before season 6.

**Spoilers:** Nothing major...besides Carter's Jell-O flavor preferences!

**Disclaimer:** It all belongs to people who are not me, unfortunately. (MGM, etc.) Or at least, the characters, settings, and other such recognizable things belong to them. The arrangement of words, however, is mine own.

**Author's Notes:** I am sure Blue Jell-O fanfics have been written before, but I have not found any that are at all similar to mine. In addition, I haven't yet decided whether or not this will be a standalone chapter or if there will be more chapters after this one. I hope this fic is well-liked overall, and I _do_ appreciate feedback of any sort.

**Summary:** What does Blue Jell-O taste like?

Chapter 1:

The commissary was not crowded. On the contrary, it was nearly empty besides the presence of SG-  
1; a few airmen sat in corners drinking coffee and eating stale donuts–stale because it was almost two in the morning–and a nurse was half-asleep at the table next to the team.

SG-1 was still at the SGC because, quite frankly, they had no lives outside of their work, and so had simply never left the day before. Only O'Neill was annoyed, to put it politely. The correct term would probably be more along the lines of 'pissed off because he was obligated to stay out of team spirit, and he really preferred sleeping in his own bed with his own pajamas with pictures of beer cans and fish all over them, thank you very much'. He would have at least gotten to watch a football game if he were at home, he mused, as he stretched his arms above his head and leaned his chair back, the front legs leaving their place on the ground.

As the colonel yawned and looked around at the respective members of his team, he realized that they all must be as bored as he was. Except for Carter. But Daniel was staring blissfully at the steam rising from his fifth cup of coffee, his eyes glazed over in an expression of pure enjoyment. Teal'c was sitting stiffly next to Daniel, hands folded on the table and head tilted slightly to the side, eyeing the cup of coffee with a doubtful expression that meant he wanted to ask a question but wasn't sure he was going to get the answer he was looking for. Carter, of course, was absorbed in some document of probable scientific orientation, eyes bright and intense, face so close to the pages that her nose was almost touching them. Ever so often she would whip out a pen, enthusiastically underline or circle something, and turn the page.

O'Neill slapped his hands on the table and leaned forward, the front legs of his chair crashing back onto the floor. Daniel was jolted out of his reverie and blinked owlishly, trying to decide if he was where he thought he might be. Teal'c slowly turned his head to look at the Colonel, and Carter looked over the top of her scientific document long enough to glare at him.

"O.K., kids!" began the colonel with the beginnings of a mischievous grin on his face, "We are going to talk about something."

Daniel blinked and rubbed his eyes, and Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Carter was suddenly deaf.

"Um." Daniel raised a hand. "Um, talk about what?"

O'Neill beamed at him and nodded. "Good question, _great_ question." Nod, nod. "In fact, since _you _asked..."

His gaze flickered to a movement at the end of their table. Carter had somehow been hiding a plastic goblet of blue jell-O on her person, and it now made an appearance as an arm darted out from behind the papers shielding her from view and picked up a spoon from the table. The arm proceeded to use the spoon to scoop up a quivering mound of Jell-O, and carefully maneuver it back behind the papers, where it disappeared. The empty spoon and arm reappeared a few seconds later.

O'Neill looked back at Daniel and nodded again, more decisively this time.

"Yes, since you asked, you get to go first. The topic is..." he said as he looked around at the quizzical faces surrounding him (except for Carter), "The topic is the flavor of Carter's Jell-O!"

Daniel blinked. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Jack," began Daniel, "it's _blue_."

Teal'c said nothing, but his eyebrow inched its way further skyward.

"Daniel. I asked you the _flavor_."

"Oh. Right. Sorry..."

The spoon appeared over the top of the scientific papers, absentmindedly being waved in the air.

"It tastes blue," said the spoon, in Carter's voice. "I should know."

"Jack..." began Daniel hesitantly, "why don't we talk about something else..." he trailed off as he realized he was on the receiving end of an irritated glare.

"I believe it is possible that the flavor could be Blue Raspberry." cut in the deep and overly patient voice of Teal'c.

"However, I have not seen pictures of raspberries that are blue. Therefore, I must question the validity of the source from which I learned that this is a flavor." He paused for a moment, a thoughtful expression covering his face while his teammates (except Carter) stared at him in open-  
mouthed astonishment.

"I have concluded that the Jell-O could only be manufactured out of materials that are naturally blue. Such is the coloring of the blueberry, the bluebell, and the bluefish."

"_Bluefish?_!"

"Um, Jack? We haven't explained about food coloring, have we..."

Teal'c inclined his head towards Daniel.

"I do not believe you have, Daniel Jackson–"

"Ah!" O'Neill waved a finger in front of the archaeologist's face. "Don't even _start_, Daniel. We are way off-topic here, kids. Teal'c, it has to be a _fruit_. No fishes and flowers, okay? And it doesn't necessarily have to be blue, although that helps."

Daniel allowed himself an exasperated sigh before turning towards the scientific papers with his best sad puppy expression in place.

"Sam, can you _please_ just tell them what flavor it is so we can do something else? Please?"

The spoon snuck out and nabbed another heap of Jell-O. There was the sound of a vexed attempt to chew something that wants to be slurped, and then:

"Daniel, I told you. I told them. I told the whole commissary. It's blue Jell-O. It tastes _blue_. End of story." There was a weighty pause. "And stop looking at the papers like that. It's making them feel sorry for you."

Daniel slumped in his chair and allowed his forehead to drop to the table. Teal'c raised an eyebrow, and if someone looked very closely they would have seen a muscle in his jaw twitching. There was a sigh from the papers and they deflated a little. Then someone slammed them onto the table hard enough to make the Jell-O look like it was trying to run away, and Sam stood up, stalked over to the refrigerated desserts section, and returned with four plastic goblets of blue jiggling matter, which could have been Jell-O if the rest of her team knew better than to believe she would be wasting it on them.

O'Neill stared at the papers. Teal'c seemed to be mesmerized by the contents of his plastic goblet. Daniel had not moved, and if someone looked very closely they would have seen that he was recovering from being near tears. The spoon waved above the papers again.

"Yes, that is blue Jell-O. Now shut up and eat it."

The words were harsh, but there was an undercurrent of amusement. This was good.

"Jack..."

"Yes, I know. 'Do as she says.' Yeah..."

O'Neill cautiously picked up his spoon and dug it into the blue depths. The Jell-O trembled threateningly. He managed to scoop out a chunk of the stuff without dropping it, the spoon, or the goblet, and carefully brought the spoon to his mouth. He chewed. He swallowed. He licked his spoon.

"Tastes blue." he said.

Daniel blinked. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. The papers shook with silent laughter.


	2. Write A Haiku

**Title**: The Mystery of Jell-O Blue: Chapter 2-Write a Haiku

**Author**: Dandelion Lint

**Feedback**: Constructive criticism and feedback greatly appreciated! Also, I love all of you who reviewed the previous chapter. Thankyou!

**Disclaimer**: Characters are not mine. I only mess with them, then put them back.

(note: after Singularity, probably in the earlier seasons before season 6, original team)

Chapter 2:

"So, Teal'c," began O'Neill, tapping the side his teammate's Jell-O goblet with a finger, "we've figured out that it tastes blue. But...c'mon, help me here, buddy. What does blue taste like?"

The Jaffa swallowed another spoonful of Jell-O and tilted his head to the side, which caused him to look vaguely like a large bird. He frowned and licked his lips.

"I cannot identify any taste other than that which you call 'blue'. Therefore, blue can be the only taste there is."

Daniel raised his hand.

"I, um, I think that what Jack is trying to say, Teal'c, is that we know that the Jell-O tastes blue, but we don't know what _flavor_ blue is..."

Teal'c stared at the two men as if they were out of their minds.

"Is your intention to convey that blue has many flavors?"

Daniel shook his head vigorously.

"No! No, no, um..."

"Carter, help us out, will ya?" barked the colonel over Daniel's confused muttering. The papers fluttered under the force of O'Neill's stare and wilted, to reveal that Carter was, in fact, gone and the papers had been propped up against the three empty Jell-O goblets. O'Neill gave an exasperated sigh and stomped over to the papers, yanked them up off the table, and glared at them. He sighed.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me..."

"Pardon?"

"Daniel, what time is it?"

The archaeologist's eyebrows rose and he coughed, then pulled his sleeve back and glanced at his watch.

"Um...well, _my_ watch says oh-three-hundred hours, but it's probably abooout twelve or so minutes fast, give or take, so–"

"_Ah!_ Did I ask you how _fast_ your watch was?" O'Neill grumbled, squinting suspiciously at Daniel and then looking back at the papers in his hand.

"What appears to be the problem, Colonel O'Neill?" queried Teal'c. The colonel gave an exasperated sigh.

"Here's the _problem_, kids. Why the _hell_ are we sitting at the same lunch table as someone who can read _this_ at three in the morning?"

He slammed down the very scientific papers in front of Daniel's coffee. The archaeologist flinched as his sixth helping of caffeinated sludge threatened to slosh and ooze its way over the edges of its Styrofoam cup.

"Um, Jack...it's just a theoretical article on how to use the stargate for time travel. And, well, technically this isn't a lunch table. And technically, she isn't even sitting here..." Daniel nudged his cup of coffee further away from his teammate and more in the direction probable safety.

"Well, _great_," the colonel said sullenly. "I feel _so_ much better now..."

Teal'c stood up and reached over Daniel's coffee, plucking the top sheet of paper off of the stack. O'Neill craned his neck over Daniel's shoulder to see better. The three of them stared at the second sheet of paper, and then the colonel and the Jaffa simultaneously turned their heads to look at the archaeologist. It took him a while to notice the holes being burned through his head.

"Hey! What?"

"Well, Danny-boy, you're the linguist here. Linguinize away."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"I believe that Colonel O'Neill wishes you to read aloud, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel sighed and took a deliberately slow sip of coffee.

"You do realize this is personal information..."

O'Neill held out a hand to forestall further speculation. He closed his eyes, nodded, and raised his right hand.

"I, Colonel Jack O'Neill of the United States Air Force, do solemnly swear on..."

He opened one eye and scanned the table, then snapped the eye shut.

"I do solemnly swear on Teal'c's unfinished Jell-O that henceforth I shall take any blame whatsoever for this particular viewing of possibly personal papers belonging to Carter..." He opened both eyes and looked pointedly at Daniel.

"...even though you _do not drop your buddies in the cacky_." He lowered his hand and sat down.

Daniel stared.

"_Henceforth?_"

Teal'c blinked and his eyebrow crept up onto his forehead.

"What is a 'cacky'?"

Daniel glanced at him.

"It's British for toilet, why do you..."

His mouth fell open, and his glasses began sliding down his nose.

"_British?_"

Daniel pushed his glasses back into place and peered at the colonel.

"Jack, where did you find that out, when did you start using big words, and what have you done with the real you?"

Teal'c gently put the paper he had been holding back onto the table, sat down, picked up his spoon and ate the last bite of Jell-O remaining in his plastic goblet.

Jack scowled in Daniel's general direction and tapped the stack of papers with an impatient finger.

"Just _read_, for cryin' out loud, will ya?"

Daniel re-adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat.

"'An Easy How-To of Relaxation: Discover five new ways to relax in even the most stressful environments while maintaining a busy schedule.'" Daniel coughed.

"Um, the phrase 'even the most stressful environments' is underlined..."

"Keep reading," prompted O'Neill.

"Indeed. Perhaps if you continue we will have a better understanding of the hardships that Major Carter must go through in order to be a scientist such as she is." The Jaffa looked pointedly at O'Neill.

"Perhaps then you shall not be as inclined to make quick judgements, nor to be an addition to her troubles, O'Neill. Indeed, it would be wise to learn these techniques of relaxation yourself, Colonel O'Neill, as you also work under stress."

After a long moment of speechless staring at Teal'c, the other men looked at their empty Jell-O goblets with interest, and the colonel gestured for Daniel to continue reading.

The linguist did just that, in a mumbling, incoherent manner.

"Um. Nothing much...numberoneismeditation, numbertwoisstretchingevery five minutes...uh...letmesee...threeistakingfive-minutewalks...fourislisteningtomusic...ifpossible...and...number five is...writing...wait, thiscan't...be...right..." The archeologist scratched his head and peered perplexedly at the paper in front of him.

"Oh, for...let _me_ see that..." O'Neill grabbed the paper and held it up, silently moving his lips.

"What does it say, Colonel O'Neill?" questioned Teal'c.

"'Write a Haiku'..."


End file.
